MOLAR

Yesterday my dentist yanked a large, cracked, infected, dead molar out of my gums. It was a big one, second to last on the upper right side.

Like many good citizens, I really hate going to the dentist. I have had zillions of fillings in my life. Three gold crowns. Braces. And now that my body is on the road to ruin the old fillings are falling out and within the last six months three of my teeth have had large chunks of them break off.

It is an unsettling and weird experience when a piece of a tooth cracks off. However, nothing could prepare me for the completely surreal encounter with tooth extraction. I had to have two extra shots during the procedure to beef up my numbness. Then some pushing. And then a long couple of pulls and that was that. It is a strange thing.

Afterwards comes hours of bleeding. It is one thing to have a bleeding wound somewhere on one’s body. It is an annoyance but nothing like having blood spew forth into the mouth. Now - taste - is part of the fun. Blood tastes odd.

Today the gaping hole in my mouth reminds of how human I am, yet there is little comfort in that. Instead, I imagine an ear or my nose falling off. I see scenes from the Jeff Goldblum version of The Fly in my mind’s eye.....him pulling out his nails and other body parts slipping off during his transformation to human/fly hybrid.

My tongue slips unwittingly back into the black dental hole as I begin to feel the stirrings of a human/geezer hybrid.